Thursday, January 7, 2010

Please STOP sharing...

HUH? Aren't we as parents supposed to encourage our children to share with each other. Well, yes, generally we are.. but what to do when one party (the smaller one at that) clearly doesn't want what her brother is trying to share?

This is the dilemma taking place in our house at the moment. Xavier has finally become a wonderful big brother. I wish I could say he was always a wonderful big brother, but I'm not prone to flat out lying; the occasional exaggeration, sure.. but not a flat out lie. As a newborn he had ZERO interest in her. Didn't want to kiss or hold her, didn't want to talk to her, in fact as far as he was concerned she just didn't exist. Which in hindsight was probably pretty handy. There was no worry about him smothering her or hurting her or trying to pick her up or anything like that. He wasn't even that concerned when she took up so much of my time feeding her, he was just happy to do his own thing and let us do ours.

As she began sitting up and engaging with the world a little more, his intrest in her grew. Not in a loving, gentle kind of way either. Oh no! Suddenly there was someone he could push around, sit on, stand on, snatch from and just generally annoy! And boy-oh-boy did she let everyone know about it. For those who don't know out daughter is slightly prone to being what some term a DRAMA QUEEN! It got to the point where as soon as he looked at her she would scream and I started wondering if i was raising a serial killer as well as a drama queen. No, seriously, I was really truly concerned with him.

Then Stella worked out this crawling business.. and WOW all of a sudden the violent attacks on her stopped dead. Rather they were replaced with squeals of laughter and screams of "come on Stels, I'm here, come on!" from Xavier. People were right, he wasn't a serial killer in the making, he just wanted her to come play... *sigh of relief*

So for a few weeks we were very pleased with this new great big brother he was becoming. He would make sure she knew where he was at all times and she would follow diligently. If he was playing trains, he always made sure she had a train too (lovely sharing i hear you sigh) and just generally playing really nicely together. I was in heaven. They even started conspiring together, seems both my children love the great outdoors with a similar gusto to the gusto I hate it with. Xave is a master Houdini, and opens the sliding door for them both to escape out onto our deck to play in the cubby house and on the mini trampoline. *mental note, baby proof the stairs there*

However, this week he has ramped up his love of her a little to much for her liking. Stella, as well as being a drama queen has some minor personal space issues. Which is odd for a child who likes to be worn in a sling and adores co-sleeping, but I liken her to a cat, when she wants to be snugly you'd better be in the mood too coz she ain't going anywhere, but if she wants her space, god help the person who tries to get in it.

Of late, that person has been her big brother. He wants to share his drinks with her (no, honey, bubba has booby milk not fridge milk, as he calls his milk), food (no honey, bubba doesn't eat nutrigrain/chips/chocolate). While he also is loving that she follows him around the house like a loyal puppy, at times she just doesn't move fast enough for his liking... Xavier's solution to that.. pick her up!!!! ARGH!!!! That's when the drama queen ramps it up a notch.. I'm sure if she could form full sentences there would be expletives, pleas to leave her alone and some small dose of manners.

Yes, its lovely that he now loves her so much and wants to share, but if only 2 year olds were able to read the social cues that are screaming at him... get outta my face, NOW!

2 comments:

  1. *tears* MUST MAKE SECOND BABY (I'm even jealous of the shit bits ;) )

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  2. Oh you have no idea how pleased I am to hear that... give us a couple of months and G might be a better big sister too *sigh*

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