Thursday, December 16, 2010

Looking back on 2010...

Just thought I would share the high lights and low lights of 2010 and what I'm are looking forward to in 2011... I would love to hear yours too in comments or with a link to your own blog post...
 
high lights...
  • getting through so much of my ABA training, I am 1 unit away from being a qualified breastfeeding counsellor
  • watching rare moments of the kids playing nicely with each other... and seeing it happen more and more
  • it was a tough year with Xavier, and I mean really tough, he almost broke me, but as he enters the year of being 3 he is really becoming a much nicer person to be around. He is crazy clever and rather hilarious.. but oh so cheeky...
  • Stella is really just a joy! she is a diva, whinges most of the time, demands my attention and is the biggest drama queen ever, but she really does make my heart burst. will be interesting to see how she is as a 2 year old..
  • re-learning how to sew after 20 years away from a machine. I was taught as a young girl by my beloved nan, who died when i was pregnant with Xavier, and i never really had the urge to sew, but having a daughter has changed that, I now love sitting at the machine sewing. I think I was scared to sew again for a long time as I really was worried that it would remind me too much of nan and I would just sit and cry over fabric instead of creating with it, but I LOVE IT. I feel so close to her sewing at her old machine and over locker, my aunts tell me just how proud of me she would be, and DH tells me that he can see me quite literally beaming as I work. I'm so grateful that she taught me to sew.
  • I have also made some fabulous new friends this year. people who are so different yet so much the same all at once and I love that I have such an amazing variety of women in my life guiding me on the parenting journey.
low lights....
  • Xavier. boy there were times this past year when I really was ready to just walk away from him. I never imagined that 1 small boy could push buttons so badly.. I taught 28 year 9 boys and loved it, how does 1 boy destroy my spirit so much?
  • MIL being sick for 6 weeks. She has my kids one day a week each, she loves the one on one time with them, as they do with her, and it also gives me some one on one time with each kid too. Which is awesome, because they really do fight a LOT, physically fight, with blood shed regularly, so to be able to have 1 nice child twice a week is bliss. But she came down with bronchitis for 6 weeks, I had the kids all day every day for 6 weeks and the 3 of us very nearly went mad. sooo glad when she got better.
  • planning to build a garage on our house, to make it do until I return to work (when Stella starts school) and we can afford a bigger house, only to get the quotes back and being floored by how much they were. Was looking forward to my own little craft area in the garage, but was not to be, so we built a carport instead to keep me and the kids dry getting in and out of the car.. you know Melbourne, 4 seasons in 1 day.
What I'm looking forward to...
  • Xavier going off to kinder next year. he is so very ready and needs more than I can give him at home. it has meant the world to me that i have been able to stay at home and be his sole carer for over 3 years (besides grandma) but he is ready to move away from me and gain a small amount of independence. I cannot wait to see him shine.
  • trying to get away with the DH and kids for a short break. I don't work all these extra jobs for no reason. 
  • finishing ABA training and starting to really help women who want to breastfeed. they say being able to breastfeed your child is the worlds greatest joy, helping another women to breastfeed her child is the second greatest joy.
  • finding some me time and believing that I'm actually worth it and deserve it. This could be the tricky one... 
so come of lovely ladies... share with the rest of us too...

Monday, December 13, 2010

Checking in....

I'm aware I have been rather a bad bad bad blogger of late... but well.. life is busy... so here are 10 6 things that have been keeping me away from blogging...

1. Xavier. Who might I add is proving the skeptics (aka his parentals) wrong. So far as a 3 year old, he has improved outta sight. He still has frequent fights with his sister, but the times of playing together nicely and sharing are increasing, he is also doing his best to try and teach her about taking turns, a concept he has really 'got' recently, Stella however, did not read the same memo so screams with displeasure every time Xavier announces that her turn is finished and its his turn. Then the ultimate cuteness kicks in as he tries to calm her, saying things like, "its OK honey, I'm just going to have a little turn then its your turn again". Hearing him call her honey makes my heart melt... its just the most beautiful thing ever. The tantrums are much fewer and when they happen much less intense. All in all, I am really enjoying my 3 year old son.

2. Stella. How this girl got so divine is just beyond me. Some days I just look at her and almost cry in awe of just how much she takes my breathe away, and then before the first tear drops, she notices me watching and shoots me this look she has that just oozes cheek and I can do nothing but scoop her up laughing and kiss that spot where her jaw meets her neck... bliss. She has had a word explosion, although seems to have a love of the word 'mine" using it frequently as she informs you of everything in the space that is in fact 'hers'. Mine room, mine bunny, mine drink.. yes darling, they are yours. *sigh* For all of her spunk, she really is a placid child at heart. She is fiercely independent, refusing to get into the pram at any point (mine walk mummy) but listens so beautifully when we are out and she is free range... she happily hold hands in carparks, and wanders alongside, keeping close while shopping.

3. Sewing. Yes I have been spending more and more time sewing. To the point where not only do I have my nans sewing machine in my possession, but also her overlocker, which I'm loving. I have been sewing stuff for Stella like a crazy lady, and have started selling some of the other bits and pieces I have been making. Certainly not going to become rich doing it, but I love having  a reason to sit and sew.

4. Kinder. WHAT? who? Xavier starts 3 year old kinder next year and we have been spending time doing lots of talking about that. He had his orientation last week and despite refusing to get dressed, get in the car and get out of the car... once he was there he then refused to come home. I really think he is going to love being with other kids his age, and well, despite the new leaf, I'm still going to enjoy that time out from him.

5. Friends. This year has bought so many new and wonderful women into my life and for this I am blessed. Making time to spend with these girls is a must, with some its once a month or less, with others we chat daily, but they are all awesome. Some I would like to spend more time with, but such is life, we fit in what we can.

6. Work. Yes that's right. I have started working 1 day a week out of the house. And I LOVE it. I'm still doing Baby Center and Baby Beehinds, but am now also working at the Breastfeeding Center in Dandenong. Answering phone, processing payments, taking bookings for breast feeding classes. And loving it.

so that's whats been going on around here... I would promise to try and blog more, but, well... who knows, maybe this time I will....

Monday, October 11, 2010

Xavier is 3!!!

WOW how did that happen? I remember his arrival like it was just yesterday, and now I am a mother to a 3 year old.

Yesterday, 10th October, Mr Xavier had a party to celebrate his big day. There was cake, balloons, a jumping castle and a pinata. He had lots of friends come play and was spoilt rotten with amazing gifts.

So for you my darling boy, despite telling me you are now a big boy, you will always and forever be my baby boy. The past year has been full of challenges and joys as you have developed your own way of doing things, grown to adore and annihilate your sister (often at the same time), and learnt to chuck the tantrum from hell. If I'm being completely honest, I haven't always liked you this past year, but rest assured I have always loved you. I approach the coming year with trepidation  (I hear 3 is harder than 2) but look forward to coming out the other side with you.

Maybe 3 year olds are a bit like year 9's, they both start the year completely insane and irrational but given time they come good, until towards the middle of the year you find yourself warming to them and think they completely rock by the end of the year. Let's aim to be rockin it this time next year!

Thank you for making me a mother and teaching me every day just how to get the job right. I'm lucky that I have such a forgiving (and cute) boss. Love you, big boy.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Sew, sew, sew impressed with ME!!!!

Sewing is something that I was taught to do as a child by my nan (who you can read a bit more about here) but something I haven't done for a good 20 odd years, that is until yesterday.

I loved sewing as a child, but as a teen and young woman, it lost its appeal to brand names and convenience. Even having a child of my own didn't renew my interest in sewing, knitting yes (boys look awesome in hand knitted beanies), but sewing, no. That was until I had a daughter. All of a sudden craft markets were filled with the most beautiful hand made creations, that cost a BOMB!

I have said many times that I needed to re-learn how to sew. So many times I have picked something beautiful up at a market, looked at the price and thought, pfft, I could do that... all the time wishing my Nan were still here to in fact do it for me. In hindsight, I think part of the reason I had avoided sewing again was due to the feelings I was frightened it would bring up. I adored my nan and I miss her like crazy, each and every day. Its now that I'm a mother, I wish I could pop in to ask for knitting advice, or to ask her to whip something up for the kids, but she is gone, and I cant just pop in to have my needs met. I have so many wonderful memories of watching her create and I was scared that sitting at a machine, attempting to do what she was so skilled at doing, would, well, just make me sad. Never in a million years, did I think that the opposite would happen.

Pinning a pattern, hearing that distinct snip of dressmaking scissors cutting through fabric, reaching for the tape measure, and sitting at the machine gently pressing the pedal to find the 'right' speed, made my heart sing. The knot in my stomach loosened as I sat there, and the joy at it all coming back to me was immense. Sewing really is just like 'riding a bike' you don't forget.

Because I was so young when I learnt to sew (I was first allowed to use the machine at 5) I never really learn much beyond straight stitching, so yesterday, with the help of my friend Sarah, I made these...
...the most beautiful frilly knickers for Stella. Not only am I impressed with how well the colours work, but I'm impressed at just how easy it was and I'm really really impressed with how sewing made me feel.

And with that, I'm hooked. Today I went and put my Christmas present on layby, a brand spanking new sewing machine and I may have bought some fabric while I was there too. I also called my aunty to share my joy and got just a little bit teary when she told me just how proud nan would have been to see me at a machine again. She also happily agreed to lend me her machine to practice while waiting for Santa to bring me mine... and the best bit, her machine, is actually Nan's machine. Sometime this week, I am going to sit at the same machine my nan did and create something for my daughter the same way my Nan created for me.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Our snow adventure...

On the Queen's Birthday long weekend we decided to head up to Lake Mountain, near the town of Marysville that was ravaged by fires on Black Saturday in February 2009. And on a tangent, can I say that that area is hauntingly beautiful. The fire ravaged trees still stood and building works were going on everywhere, but there was something so heartwarming and beautiful about seeing this little town and its people keeping it going despite the enormous loss they suffered.

Now its fair to say that I am not a fan of the outdoors in general. I am often heard chanting, " I HATE nature". I don't enjoy the sun, or the cold, or dirt or bugs.... and snow.. well I hate the friggen stuff. BUT being a good mumma who knew at least 1 of her children would love it, I obliged, helped pack up the car and off we went. Now I have a very valid reason for my dislike of the snow, the last time I went, I slipped and sprained my ankle quite badly within about 10 minutes of stepping foot on the snow. So this time, I was going to be extra cautious. 
Kids all rugged up ready to go...pity about the face on Xave would be a good pic otherwise
Well was I wrong about 1 of the kids enjoying the snow, they both loved it. I honestly thought Stels would feel the cold of it and freak and spend the day clinging to me, but she was in heaven.

I made it out of the car park easily enough and spent a good 20 minutes wandering around near the toboggan run and was still alive. Adam suggested wandering over to another area where there appeared to be some more fresh snow that they could make a snowman with.. okay!?!?!?!

Well I made it over there too and was standing watching the kids loving it when...BANG!!! Down I went like a sack of potatoes. Freaking ankle.

As usual while I'm gasping in pain, begging Adam with my eyes to help me the fuck up, he is more interested in asking what happened. Well clearly darling, I'm on the ground in obvious pain...WTF do you think might have happened? What is it about asking me to talk when I'm in so much pain I can barely breathe?

Eventually Adam helped me up and perched me on a wet rock while he and the kids continued to play. Where I did at least get some great pics of the kids playing.


Some pictures from my wet rock
Experience with my life long shonky ankles tells me that what I should have done in that moment, was take off my shoe, elevate my foot and ice it. But the mumma bear in me, didn't want to ruin my kids day, so I left the shoe on, knowing as soon as it came off the ankle would swell making it impossible to get the shoe back on, sucked up the pain and spent the next 2 hours either limping around in the snow or sitting on cold wet rocks resting and watching Adam and the kids enjoy the snow. Why sitting on wet rocks I hear you ask and not in the warmth of the cafe sipping hot chocolate with marshmallows? Because there are NO FREAKING CHAIRS in the cafe at Lake Mountain.. WTF is that about?

Stella our little speed demon, was in her element on the toboggan, screaming when the run ended and carrying on all the way on the walk back up to the top... Adam claims that I hurt myself just to get out of dragging the kids up the hill time and time again... little does he know, injury or not, I was not going to dragging anyone up a freaking hill in the snow.

It was in the car on the way home that the pain really amped up to unbearable, I tried my best to elevate it, but it was impossible to get it as high as it needed to be, so we ended up stopping in Lilydale for Adam to go and buy me some pain killers.

Just a little bit swollen? Excuse the ugly toe nail polish.
The following day I headed off to the physio to have it strapped properly and checked over and he suggested an x-ray to rule out a fracture. The x-ray showed there wasn't a fracture, BUT it did show that I had a moderate heel spur.. which while not life threatening, it does explain a lot of the foot pain I often have, and means that I will need to reconsider my love of wearing thongs all the time... bugger

Operation 'proper shoes' here I come.

Oh and for those of you who have heard me refer to my 'hot' physio, he was busy when I needed my ankle looked at so I had to settle for a much younger, 'cute' physio instead. Seriously, is it a pre-requisite to the course, you have to be a bit of a looker?

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

What makes me happy...

Rah! Did I scare you? I know I have been AWOL for quite some time now, busy doing everything and nothing all at once.. but to get me back into the swing of things, I thought a quick blog about 10 things that make me happy might be the way to go....

Oh and a warning, there may be talk of sex and other girly things here, so consider yourself warned...

1. The way Stella's lips pout when she is telling someone off.... It makes me just want to kiss that adorable face of hers.

2. How soft the nape of Xavier's neck is, and that he still lets me kiss him there... there will come a time when he no longer giggles when I do this, so I'm going to do it while I can get away with it. Oh and his ear lobes, my son has the softest ear lobes, gets it from his daddy... whose ears I'm quite partial too also.

3. Giant Jaffas... need I say more?

4. Bags. Handbags, Nappy bags, shopping bags (the reusable ones not the plastic ones)... and in all honesty the thrill of the chase for the perfect bag is much more satisfying than the buying of said bag...

5. Morning sex. Again need I say more? As much as I HATE mornings, I am not a morning person at all, but a little bit of sleepy loving of a morning, on the rare occasion we are up before the kids.. bliss. One day, they will both sleep over somewhere (or sleep in) and we can have the best of both worlds again, a sleep in and morning sex.

6. When I know advice I have offered regarding breastfeeding, helps the person who asked.

7. Actually, breastfeeding as a whole. I love it, I love that Stella has grown up on mumma's milk, I love that its something only I can do for her, I love that she nods enthusiastically when asked before bed if she wants booby in the booby chair and I love her new trick of coming off the breast just to reach up to kiss me and stroke my face, before returning to her feed. And what I love most of all, is that I have come to realise that this breastfeeding relationship that Stella and I share has healed the wounds of not feeding Xavier for as long as I had hoped; and boy does it feel GREAT to be able to let go of that one.

8. That Adam supports me in my role as a mother. He isn't always perfect, neither am I, but his desire for me to be at home raising our children is matched only by my own desire to be here for them. Yes we go without some things others have, but whats more important is that our children don't go without us. Despite the fact that I often threaten to put them into daycare and go back to work, we both know I never would.

9. The last day of my period. This is the thing I hate most about being a girl. I love boobs, I don't mind the booty, but the periods... ARGH I hate them, so on that last day, when I know its so close to being over is awesome.

10. Where the universe has taken me. I'm not the person I thought I was going to be and I don't give a rats arse either. I'm doing things, seeing things, learning things I never imagined for myself. The universe has a plan for me, things that hurt at the time, happened to bring me closer to where I was supposed to be and while the pain was intense, I appreciate that I can now see it for what it was.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Half way there....

This past weekend the family and I headed off to the lovely town of Mansfield for the ABA training weekend. For those who don't know, I am training to become an Australian Breastfeeding Association Counsellor. I was stagnating on the course, being self paced makes it really really easy for me to slack off and get lots started and little finished... but the training weekend was GREAT. I completed 3 units (there are 14 all up to complete the certificate) so now have 7 completed all up. That means 4 more single units to go before I can begin the combined 3 counselling units. Hooray!

However, as Stella is still a booby baby, the whole family came along for the weekend. Stella happily goes all day without boobies, if they aren't there, so while I was busy studying, Adam went exploring the area with the kidlets. They had a great time and my kids look oh so amazingly cute all rugged up against the cold.

Xavier exploring

Stels looking super cute in a mumma made beanie

even bunny went for an explore


Adam assures he there was no serious off roading... hmmmm

Monday, May 3, 2010

I have a new love...

...and here it is...


My Little Squirt!

For those of you who don't know I use Baby BeeHinds Modern Cloth Nappies, mainly because I also sell them, and because they are the best.

I have been a cloth convert for a while now. Started using a different brand when Xave was about 6 months old and slowly over time built my stash. Once Stels came along, both kids were in cloth full time.

Like most people, I was concerned with the poo factor using MCN's but was assured that with either flushable liners or a little squirt it wasn't that bad. So I bought some liners and the squirt (not long after I started using cloth) with grand plans.

The liners got used and I harassed Adam until he connected up the squirt. He tried, bless him, but alas, one of the hoses was too short. Little Squirt caters for this and allows you to send it back and they will change length free of charge. So off I sent it for a longer hose. It arrived back and again Adam attempted to fit it (after a few weeks of nagging) to find that the thread on our toilet was worn and the squirt just wouldn't attach without leaking. GRRRRR!!!!!

Months passed and liners became my best friend. Xave had hideous and numerous poos daily, and being heavily pregnant with Stella, dealing with poo was not great. We returned on and off to disposables but the cloth was always there in some form.

I began to accept that perhaps my squirt was never going to be working, to the point that when I started selling BBH I would tell customers that while I had heard the squirt was good, I had lived for almost 2 years without it.

I randomly mentioned to a friends husband who is a plumber that the thread on my loo was gone and was it fixable, he said it was and offered to come and fix it for me soon. He called a few days later to say he was close and if I was home he would drop in. He not only fixed my loo but connected up the little squirt for me. Hooray! Finally it was working. I waited for madame (Xave was day toilet trained by this point, yep that's how long it had been) to do one of her grossest poos. And you will never guess, the girl who poos at every single nappy change, went 2 only wet nappies before poo arrived the next day...

I was so excited that I was going to get to use my new toy... and you know what... ITS FREAKING AWESOME!!!! I love it, I love the plumber who finally got it working for me. I don't know how I did 2 years of cloth without it...

Now when I'm working I tell people that while they don't need a little squirt, if they can stretch the budget to get one they will never regret it....

Perfume..

Let's just get this clear from the outset. I'm not a girly girl. I don't even own makeup, let alone wear it. For me, making an effort with my appearance means trying to ensure there is no food from the kids on my top or pants and perhaps if I'm feeling really organised I will slap on some lip gloss. If I'm going all out, I will try and visit the hairdresser and have her wash and blow wave my hair and if its something really really special I go running to my baby sister, who is a makeup artist, and get her to do something with me.

The funny part is that whenever I do go to the full hog effort of baby sis making me up, Adam always just looks at me like he has no clue who this woman is. Poor boy is so used to plain old me that made up me just freaks him out a little.

But I digress... this post is about the one slightly girly thing I do. I wear perfume every single day.

This has not always been the case mind you. Its a fairly recent event. I would wear perfume for special occasions, but that was all. Then I had babies and well, something felt wrong about wearing perfume when a little person was all nuzzled in. I'm not exactly sure when it began, but I know there was a day when I realised I had all these lovely perfumes just sitting around not being used. I was saving them for a 'special occasion'. With 2 kids, this occasion was not going to come before the perfume started smelling funky... so I made a decision, bugger it, I was going to enjoy my perfume and wear it each and every day. So I do!

Its the one thing I do just for me. It makes me feel nice to smell nice, and there is nothing like someone else noticing just how good you smell.

Therefore I felt it was appropriate to dedicate a post to my favourite perfumes...

Lovely by Sarah Jessica Parker is one of my regular 'day' perfumes. I originally bought it after smelling it on my mum. I love how perfume smells different on different people once it mixes with their natural body oils. On my mum, lovely smells like new babies. Like talc powder, and soft downy heads and that deliciousness that is just new baby smell. unfortunately, it doesn't smell quite the same on me. But it smells good enough and I do love it.


This is Intimately Beckham. No I am no a Beckham fan, I received this as a gift, and at first I was a bit, urgh, Beckham. But its a lovely light fragrance, perfect for 'days' and I do alternate it with lovely for my day use. I probably wouldn't have bought it for myself, not because of the smell, but rather because of the name of it. But regardless, I'm glad I received it as a gift as it has grown on me and I rather like it.


This is the Bvlgeri Omnia I received for my birthday. Its very very different to what I would normally wear. My first instinct was to turn my nose up at it, but after the Beckham experience I'm willing to give it a go. Just because its different, doesn't mean that its necessarily bad. I cant see me wearing it as a 'day' fragrance, it feels too heavy, but I will start wearing it soon and see if it grows on me. Stay tuned for an update.


This Dior Hypnotic Poison is my ABSOLUTE favourite. I love most of the poison range, but find the original poison just too heavy for me. But the hypnotic smells amazing, both off and on me. Hooray! Its my 'special going out' perfume. I feel its a bit much for every day with the kids, but for going out I cant help myself. It makes me feel grown up and a little bit sexy. (my day perfumes make me feel pretty) Never have I worn it out and not had a compliment on it. Its that good. Plus Jenni told me when she sniffed me that I had the best smelling boobs she had ever sniffed and that is saying something...lol



And this, this is what I want next. So pay attention any husbands of mine looking for gift ideas. I had a sniff recently when we were pricing my new bottle of hypnotic poison, and this is just lovely. It would make a delicious day perfume to add to my range.

I have come to realise over the years I am rather smell sensitive. Smells are what bring back memories for me and evoke emotions. For example, I cannot stand the smell of Joop on men. My ex wore it and every time I smell it, I have an overwhelming urge to slap the person wearing it. Cool Water reminds me of teenage boys, because that's what all the cool boys wore when I was a teenager. And embarrassingly so, nothing gets me going quite like the smell of dirty car oil/grease hands and brutt33. There is just something so masculine about a man all greasy and brutty.

Adam isn't really that into aftershave, so he doesn't have a smell as such and I haven't invested enough time sniffing around for something for him to wear that really floats my boat. Guess he just has natural man stink that does it for me.


Las Vegas Party...

I'm a bit late in posting this, but well, better late than never, right?

Late April we were invited to my cousin and his girlfriends 40th birthday party. It has a Vegas theme and we were asked to come in costume. My family were going to be at the party, and Adam's parents were overseas, so our babysitters were either OS or going to the party themselves. Because of this, and his dislike of most social settings, Adam stayed at home with the kids and I went alone.

My own personal criteria for my costume was that I wanted something comfortable and something that would cover as much of me as possible. I certainly had no intentions of frightening others with exposing my body to anyone. So this is what I came up with...

For those who cant tell, I am black jack.

The cards are made from foam so that they would bend if I needed to move arms or sit down, then covered with some white fabric I got from the bargain bin at Spotlight. I then used some super cool iron on transfer stuff to put on the letters and clubs. The rainbow material on the back is just hot glue gunned down with a sequin edge, just to tidy things up a bit. It really is amazing what you can do with some fabric, scissors and a hot glue gun. No Sewing at all.

The birthday boy (my cousin, Shane) was dressed as Elvis and the birthday girl (Jo) was a knocked up bride... fitting seeing as she is due to give birth to their first baby in less than a month. We, well, I was so certain they were planning a surprise wedding, and after talking to others at the party, I wasn't the only one. But we were wrong. Regardless it was a great night.

My cousin Shane and my brother Aden


Jo, the birthday girl... can barely see that bump behind the flowers.


Aden & Emma (also with bump)

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Bliss @ Endota..

On Saturday I cashed in a gift voucher I received for my 30th birthday last year from Laura and Emma, for Endota day spa in Mornington. I used it for a head and toe treatment. I'm not a huge fan of the typical back massage, probably because I am always so stressed and tense that I don't find it relaxing, it just hurts, and I figure if I'm going to be all sore after a massage, I may as well get my hot physio to do it. But I love nothing more that a good foot rub and seeing as Adam hates feet and will never ever touch my feet, even if I beg, I'm happy to pay for someone else to touch them. Also having my hair washed is my favourite part of the hairdresser experience so I figured a full scalp treatment would be good too. Let me say, good is an understatement. It was pure BLISS!!!!

Firstly I was instructed to strip off to my knickers and lay on the table and cover myself. She did say that if I didn't feel comfortable I could leave my bra on but she would be working around my shoulders and my bra could get in the way. I stifled a little giggle at the thought of me, a very public breast feeder being shy about not wearing and bra. I was more uncomfortable at the thought of laying on the table in the paper g-string she gave me to pop on....

Well paper g on and laying on the table with nothing but a towel for coverage, I was a little concerned that I didn't really feel very covered at all and not sure I was going to be able to relax while feeling so exposed. It was lovely to lay down onto a warm wheat bag under my shoulders but it wasn't enough to make me feel at ease.

The therapist came back in, after knocking gently of course, and put another wheat bag over my belly button and suddenly pulled up a divine thick brown blanket that had been under me the whole time and wrapped me up in a cocoon of my very own. Naturally all I could think of was the very hungry caterpillar, wondering if I looked anything like a big caterpillar cocoon. She also put a smaller eye wheat bag over my eyes to help me switch off and relax.

She started on my feet, soaking them first, them washing and exfoliating them. Then she covered them in a mud mask and wrapped them in plastic bags then some warm fluffy socks. She left them this way while she did a full facial, with a mud mask left on while she did the scalp massage. It was so relaxing, but despite this it still took me ages to get my brain to slow down and stop thinking about the kids. After she had finished with my top end, she went back to my feet, washed the mud off and gave each foot and calf a lovely massage.

The hour and a half went way too fast, but it was so lovely to just stop for a moment and breathe. I fear I may have even dozed off during the foot massage, I did hear a small snort come out of me, so guessing I was pretty close.

Definitely something I could do again and would recommend to others too.

A little less woe is me..

Well the rest of my birthday was lovely. Adam managed to get some lovely cards and even snuck in a CD from the kids, which we have been enjoying bopping around to in the kitchen. Both the kids absolutely love music and dancing and its looking like they have inherited my sense of rhythm and not their fathers *phew* and my perfume that I picked is as lovely as I remember it...

After a quick dash for Adam to get showered and dressed after work the kids put on some going out clothes (lord knows why) and we headed out to The Spice Club (Indian) for a buffet dinner. See why I questioned my thinking putting the kids in nice clothes.... Stella, Baby led solids and butter chicken.. need I say more?

The lovely Jenni was already there waiting, me thinks she was rather excited about leaving her 4 lovely children at home for the night and was eager to get out of the house thus precisely on time. After she sniffed my new perfume, she declared that I have the loveliest smelling boobies she has ever sniffed... woo woo!!! That was the exact response I was looking for..hehe...

The beautiful Laura arrived bearing gifts, YAH! From her I got some lovely perfume, so I'm gonna be smelling good for quite some time. Wonder if the thinking behind that was that I generally stink? Hope not.

Then the ever amazing Jen and Jack arrived with the most amazing gift. A personalised bag with me boobing a little baldish ladybug baby....


You can read all about Jen's crafting of this amazing bag here. I absolutely love my bag, she is almost too beautiful to use. But I know that Jen would be upset if she didn't get used so I will run the risk that she will get a bit dirty and love worn and use her as my very special ABA training bag.

So far there hasn't been a whole night sleep OR a sleep in, but we are getting close, Friday night Stels slept from 10pm-6:30am but Xave woke at 3am wet...grrrr then Saturday night Xave slept through but woke at 7am wet grrr grrrr but Missy was very very unsettled and ended up sleeping in our bed the whole night. So technically she slept through from 10pm-7am but she is a terrible bed hog and woke me a few times overnight.

Friday, April 30, 2010

So its that time of year again....

another year older that is....

today is my birthday.. and well, so far its been less than a joyous occasion. Yes I have had some lovely birthday wishes on Face book and via text message, a few phone calls.. but well it just seems no one gets as excited about birthdays as I do. Add to that the fact that the offspring did not get the memo that they are supposed to be wonderfully well behaved for mumma on her special day. Oh no... they have been in fine form.. and of course because we are going out for dinner they had short sleeps and woke early....so dinner is going to be just as charming as the rest of the day.

Listen to me bitching and moaning.... must be getting old.

I'm hoping dinner tonight is slightly more festive and that there is one or two nice surprise presents. Not that I don't appreciate the scrapbook trolley I got from mum that I picked, or the perfume that I also picked from Adam and the kids. But well, I do love a surprise, unexpected gift. And I know at my age, I should be all full of, "no I don't need presents, there's nothing I need" blah blah blah bullshit, but the fact of the matter is, I am a present whore. I love giving gifts, I love shopping for gifts, I love finding that thing that is just perfect for someone, and don't get me started on finding the right card and wrapping paper... and well I love receiving gifts that have been given just as much consideration. And please don't ask me what I want for my birthday, I don't know what to tell you... I want you to spend some time thinking, looking, planning something you know I will just love and never indulge in for myself.

Truth be told, what I really would love is a full nights sleep and a wonderful long sleep in.... *hint hint* to the person who could make one of those things happen.... pfft who am I kidding...

Sunday, April 25, 2010

ANZAC day...

Last week my dad called to see if we were going to the ANZAC day march in our local town. I hadn't planned on going, and there was a chance I would be doing a BBH party that day anyway. Dad told me that he thought this could be one of my poppy's last marches and that he thought it would be nice for Xavier to be there and to have 4 generations together. Adam had agreed to take the kids along himself if I ended up working. We all agreed that Xave probably doesn't see enough of my dad to feel comfortable going just with his poppy without mum or dad as backup.

Turn out I didn't end up working, so we all headed out with the rain threatening to the ANZAC march.

For the first year, Poppy was deemed old enough (90) to go in the jeep as opposed to walking, although I'm told it took some convincing to get him to accept this courtesy.

Poppy in the passenger seat

Because of this, the others (being my dad, uncle's, brother and cousin's) decided not to march and to instead watch from the sidelines. Xave was happy enough to sit on his poppy's shoulders and watch the cars, motorbikes and bands walk past.


Xave on his poppy's shoulders with my brother in the background.. hairy wilderbeast he is...


Poppy with the kids... if it wasn't for Xave there would be 3 bald heads together...

While it was nice seeing the men in the family bonding, as usual, every time I see poppy, it just reminds me again that my nan isn't here, and the tears once again prick at my eyes. It doesn't help that while we take the opportunity on ANZAC day to remember the fallen and those still in war zones around the world, as a mother its also a time to remember the other mothers who sons were lost to war, the wives who lost husbands and children who lost fathers. Thank god for sunglasses to hide behind I say.


Aden (my little brother), Poppy, Dad and Xave


Poppy, Stella and I

I hope every day that I never have to wave my son off to war.

Oh and the rain held off until the service was over. Hooray.

Friday, April 23, 2010

I can see the light...

Just for a moment today, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel.

No I did not have a near death experience, but rather I experienced a completely lovely moment between my children today.

Stella is walking more and more, well who am I kidding, she is walking. I have a walker. So practicing this new found skill is in high demand. I am encouraging her to walk to and from the car short and safe distances, no more trying to balance a nappy bag, baby on hip and keeping a tight grip on a kamikaze 2 year old.

Today on our way to tumble gym she was walking to the door holding my hand when Xavier took hold of her other hand to help her. After a few steps he informed me that I could let go and he would walk her. So I did, I lagged back and watched on with a bursting heart at my son, who spends most of his time tormenting her beyond belief, take her hand and gently guide her towards the doors. He gently walked her down the path, encouraged her up the stairs, and pushed and held the door open for her. What a gentleman.

Needless to say later that day he did hit, kick, push and bite her.. but alas, there was a moment, I can see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I tried to capture it on camera, but alas every time i got close someone would stumble or turn around to look at me... oh well, lets hope today's niceties were not a one off and I can catch it at some other time.

Ideas please...

So clearly I'm struggling to come up with good stuff to blog about of late.. so I ask you, my loyal followers... what do you want me to blog about?

Have I told you a funny story that you think I should share?

Is there something about me you want to know?

Do you care to know my opinion on global warming? (OK please don't ask this coz I honestly don't have one)

Come on, you complain when I don't blog (not all of you of course) so help me out here... whatcha wanna know?

Thursday, April 22, 2010

You wouldn't belive it...

After blogging last night, I went to bed thinking once again of blog ideas.... AND I came up with a really really good one... come this morning I cant think of it for the life of me.

Here's hoping a stroke of genius will come back again....

Will also put a note in the phone if I think of something good tonight....

Sorry.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

I'm alive.... and kicking.. I mean knitting

So I know that I have been a very very slack blogger of late.. I completely understand if all my followers have un-followed me and never come here again... but I do have something to show from my absence...

It all starts when my wonderful friend Nessa and her lovely mother in law made Stella this AMAZING cardigan...




Not only am I a massive cardi fan anyway, but this one just takes the cardi cake.

Whilst visiting Nessa to collect our prize, Nessa was showing off some of her own knitting prowess. Beanies. Something I had never managed to work out. Every pattern I found talked of either double ended needles OR knitting on the round, both of which scared the beejeebus outta me. so I stuck to my standard 'pixie' hats...



Pixie Hats made by moi....

and the special Pixie Hat for my rainbow pixie jenjen...


BUT Nessa's MIL had taught her an easy way to make a beanie and well it was so easy I had to get out my needles and start a' knittin'.

I should add, I am far from a good knitter. My nan taught me to knit when I was just a little girl. She would cast on, I would knit a scarf and then she would cast off. I always planned to get her to teach me more, but well, she passed away before I had a daughter and really began to appreciate hand knitted wear. I'm really not into knitted stuff on boys, but my new found love of knitting has uncovered some boys jumpers I wish I was clever enough to make. But I digress.

So here are the products of my new found beanie knitting ability...

matching beanies for my boys... ok so this was not really intentional It started as a beanie for Xave, but well, it was a bit large, but it fits Adam, so perfect... then I had wool left, and I really loved the colour so Xave a made him a matching one too...


Im loving that Stels is getting into hat and shoe wearing. I look ridiculous in hats, so peeps please dont ever buy/make me a hat, but my baby girl looks amazing in well, anything. I am now on a mission for more cool, hippy, funky, hats... maybe I need to learn to crochet.

And for those of you who wish the know the secret... its so simple I cant believe I have never thought of it myself. Here it is, cast on the right number of stitches for around the head, knit the correct number of rows, then here's the easy bit, once its long enough, knit 2 stitches together... on every row, until you have 1 little stitch left... tie it off, and sew the seam together....

So I now have a whole stack on pretty wool I have bought to knit the kids up some beanies, Mum has asked me to make one for my step dad and a friend has asked me to knit for her cousin.. although I am planning to teach her to knit so she can do it herself. I have also started a cardi for Stels, although now that the wool is knitted I'm not sure I like it as much as I thought I would, so that cardi may be gifted away.

I also wanted to add, that nan never did teach me how to cast on or off. Once I re-caught the knitting bug, I got me off to you tube and learnt on line. My MIL is slightly useful for other bits and pieces, although her being left handed, and me not, its tricky for us both.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Busy doing everything and nothing all at once...

I have been more than slightly AWOL from blogging of late. Its just that, well, I haven't had much of interest to write about, and when I have, I have been so very busy that I just haven't had the time to write about it. So here is a rundown of what has been keeping me so busy doing nothing in particular.

BabyCenter as always is just a constant source of work. Appointing new moderators, editing potty mouth members, sticking and unsticking posts for my lovely mods. Of course the danger is that I sit down to do my work for the day and end up wasting hours and hours cruising around BC to see what is going on, sprung some secret pregnancies that way or I just check in on FB and well... need I say more.

Scrapbooking. I have returned to scrapping and am loving it. Not only do I love the creative outlet, I love the time to myself. I don't have to worry about if I can hear the kids, or what to cook, or the washing, its just me, photos and coloured paper.. well and all those lovely lovely embellishments in the store.

ABA. Meetings are always a good time out, and recently I organised our groups fundraiser, we had the very lovely and talents Susan Darcy come and photograph our families. She is very generously donating 100% of the booking fee plus 10% of sales back to our group. Naturally my kids were wonderful alone, hamming it up for the camera, but because mumma was desperate for a great shot of the 2 of them together, neither child wanted to play. Actually let me correct myself there, Xave was more than happy to sit with his sister, Stella was cranky and did not want anyone touching her or putting her on the ground..brother or not.

And most exciting of all was our family trip to Sydney. We flew with Tiger, which is always asking for trouble, but for $25 what more can you expect. Flight was cancelled, switched to flight 3.5hours later, lady at check-in was a bitch and it took all I had not to tell her so. Hotel was great, kids were great, we did lots of walking, I did lots of drinking with BC girls and Xave was in heaven, between a day including a car, bus, plane, train and ferry what more could a little boy want. The kids even slept in the pram and sat next to each other in the side by side without killing each other. Pleasant change me thinks.

Oh almost forgot, I also did my first baby and kids market with BBH nappies and it was really good. Not huge sales, but lots of people took info, so fingers crossed they become customers. Next market I am going to organise the table a bit differently and print of a list for people to sign up to my mail list, I did mean to do this for that market but just forgot. Live and learn.

Finally, the children are starting to play so much nicer together. There is less and less hitting and pushing and more and more cuddles and kisses.. although one needs to watch Stella closely... I have a BITER!!!! nooooo she pretends she is coming of for a kiss.. and chomp, she gets ya. She bites me, Xavier and the other day her friend Nazeem... how embarrassing...

So as you can see, have been busy but not really doing much at all...

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Spoke too soon...

Yesterday arvo Xave woke with a temperature. Nothing drastic, but after being awake for just over an hour he took himself back off to bed and slept for almost 16 hours straight. Definitely not normal 2 year old behaviour.

This morning he had perked up a bit, but in the shower pretty much crashed again, Adam said he was on all fours just shivering on the shower floor, not a good look. He did muster enough energy to scream at Adam however, when he turned the shower off. He also found the energy to scream at us as we tried to get him dressed (no, no pants, no tee shirt, no jocks) he wanted to wear a towel and nothing else. We had talked about going shopping before he got in the shower, while he was bouncing on the bed, and boy oh boy did her remember that after his shower. We were trying to talk him around to lying down for a rest, but alas he screamed at us some more that he wanted to go shopping. Luckily Stels was also very ready for a sleep by this point, so she went down in her cot and he crashed in our bed with Daddy lying with him.

After he woke his temperature was much higher so off to the Dr's we went. Surprisingly only an hour wait for an extended hours bulk billing clinic nearby. We have had to go there a few times of a Sunday or public holiday and have always had really great Dr's there. Granted when I had pleurisy I had to wait almost 4 hours with a newborn to see a Dr, despite having chest pains, but today wasn't so bad.

I was possibly mean mummy, but I didn't give him any panadol before we went to the Dr's, because I didn't want his temperature or behaviour masked by pain relief, I wanted the Dr to see what was actually going on, besides he had had some in the early hours of the morning. By the time we go in to see the Dr his temp was 40.8 OMG that's crazy high. Dr checked him over and found nothing wrong with him as such, we were sent off to the nurse for a dose of panadol and to be observed. His temp came down and the Dr asked to see us again. We have been asked to get a urine sample and go back to see him again tomorrow.

Since coming home we have had another big sleep, a few small spews and a hilarious wee collection tale. He has been in a nappy most of the day due to him sleeping so much, but after a bath, which he protested loudly about getting into, then protested louder about getting out of, we put him in some jocks. He started whinging, we asked if he needed to go to the toilet, we had talked about the special cup he needed to do wees in for the Dr (oh the conversations you have as a parent) and he agreed. Adam was holding the cup (good job daddy) as Xave proudly pee'd into it... when I hear..'problem, problem'... Xave had a big big big wee ready to go, much more than the cup could handle, I attempted to push the potty over to catch the overflow, and was thwarted by the lid closing as I slid it across the floor... result, a full cup of wee AND wee all over the floor... I was laughing so hard there were tears.

So for now, he is asleep in our bed, whether he stays there or not is yet to be seen. Temperature is under control, mood has improved, wees is collected.. lets see what the night brings and what the Dr has to say tomorrow.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Plodding along nicely...

No really we are just plodding along nicely. Which is great in one sense, life is good, but bad in the sense of having anything remotely interesting to blog about...

Kids are still fighting, but Stels is starting to walk more and more, nowhere near enough for me to say that I have a walker, but taking more and more steps every day. And rather chuffed with her efforts too I might add. Xavier seems to be growing out of the baby talk and starting to use big boy words again... he will just parrot back anything you say to him, (mental note, clean up the potty mouth) and has taken to calling his sister Missy Moo! So very cute of him.

Both kids are starting to enjoy swimming, Stella has taken to it much better than he has however, but I think that perhaps its her youth (compared to him) that makes her a bit less fearful in the water.

Toilet training is going well, not even any hilarious stories coming from there. He wears jocks, he tells me when he needs to go if we are out, all too easy... still in nappies at night time though, despite his insistence that he doesn't need them.

So really just wanted to let you all know that I'm alive, just bored and boring...

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

My Questions Answered...

Ok so here goes... not as popular as I hoped it would be.... surely with 32 followers, I could have got some more questions... you guys suck...but I still love you....hehe...

Sazz asked;
My question: why don't you want to breastfeed Xave/why won't you let me? ;) I wink but I am curious.

Well its not that I don't want to breastfeed Xavier, its more than I never pictured myself feeding an almost 2.5 year old. I get that people do, I don't have an issue with others doing it, but its just not something I ever imagined doing for me. In saying that, part of me is so amazed that at his age Xavier has worked out how to attach and feed, that I feel like maybe I should allow him to feed, and on occasion I do in fact let him. He doesn't have a huge interest, he doesn't stay on long, really its more of a game to him, but I take the same approach with him that I plan on taking with Stella as she approaches 2, never offer, never refuse.. although I do often offer something else instead. So if and when he asks, and if I feel that its an appropriate time and place, I will allow him to have a quick feed.

I also choose not to blog or FB about this as I know many people I know in real life (I don't care that much what people I don't know irl think) would be completely freaked out by this and I don't feel that its really anyone else's business what I do with my kids and my breasts in the privacy of my own home.

Now to why wont I let you feed Xavier.. well, this is going to be a hard one without possibly causing some offence to someone, so apologies in advance. Cross nursing/co-feeding is just not for me or my kids. Again I don't have a problem with others doing it, I strongly believe that everyone has the right to make their own choices for their bodies and their babies. I have proven that I am more than happy to provide my expressed breast milk to someone else's child, and would happily accept EBM from someone else if my kids needed it, but personally I would feel uncomfortable actually putting someone else's child to my breast and well if either of mine drank from someone else's breast I would be as jealous as all hell. I worked hard to make enough milk for my daughter, and damn it she will appreciate it and not go looking for it somewhere else...

hope that answers it for you.

apwool asked;
ok, gulp, I will ask you one that I have wondered about and I hope you don't think I am being rude!! Just curious is all :) I'm certainly not asking because I think you were wrong, you just never really said in her arrival story why, and I am really nosey LOL
Why did you have an elective c/s with Stella?

This is something I am happy to talk about apwool. There are a number of reason, the first being I assumed once a CS always a CS. My obs (who I do adore) seemed to think that another CS was the best option for me seeing as there was such a small gap between my babies. He felt the risk of a VBAC was probably too high after only 16 months, he did say had it been 2 years he would have pushed me to VBAC, so he isn't against VBAC at all. I also spoke to the midwives (yes you must all remember that I am not a homebirther and would never choose to, nothing against it, just not for me) and she talked to me about the possibility of a VBAC. She talked me through the hospitals policy on VBAC and basically I would have been strapped to the bed on monitors, allowed to move very little and not allowed to have any pain relief (as I needed to be able to feel what my scar was doing at all times)... sorry but that doesn't really sound that natural to me at all. The final reason was that the CS with Xave was the most civilised thing ever. I am a control freak and I loved knowing the day I was having a baby. I recovered well and felt great. I had a very positive CS experience and honestly didn't feel that I missed out on anything. I have 2 healthy children, no one looking at them knows how or where they were born.

I should add, that since meeting that crazy hippy freak, Sazz, IF (my tubes are tied so really its a big hypothetical) I was to have another baby, I would try to VBA2C. It would still be in a hospital, I would still see my obs for antenatal care, but I would attempt to VBAC. In saying that, I still don't regret the decisions I made to have 2 CS.

Jessica asked (via FB);
What does your name mean?

Well, seeing as my folks made it up it doesn't really mean anything. I once looked it up in a name book (lets be honest, every name book I pick up I look for my name) and the book said that Kin means golden and Tara means tower... so I guess Kintara could mean, golden tower... hmmm tall blonde? I think not, my folks stuffed that one up didn't they...lol

They did get it from a racehorse named Kenny's Tara apparently that they won some money on and played around to come up with my name.

Leesa asked (via FB);
what made you get into feeding other peoples nappy addictions and sell BBH?

Because I wanna be Emma...lol... sorry, I have a friend Emma who works for them to, and we joke that she converted me to cloth, bf, BBH, so I just want to be her clone.

In all honesty, for a long long time, I have secretly (well not so secret now) wanted to open my own shop. I want to be my own boss. I want to sell cloth nappies, I believe that when people can see and touch they are converted, baby wearing gear, where people can hire carriers before purchasing, breastfeeding stuff and hand made clothes and gifts from WAHM... I have no idea where I would even begin to finance this dream of mine, so in the meantime, I started selling BBH. I love their products (nappies and the best baby carrier, ergo's), there wasn't anyone representing the Mornington Peninsula (my area) and the extra cash comes in handy to finance my own nappy addiction... Seriously, I have been selling for 4 months now, and only this month has my account started to make a profit..lol

Jade asked (via FB);
Why is the sky blue???

I have no freaking idea... you are the science teacher, you tell me....lol

Ealesy asked;
What's you most and least favourite kind of reptile?

To be honest, I really dont dig reptiles at all. I have no interest is looking at them or holding them of having them anywhere near me. I hope that the kids never want to have a reptile for a pet, because they are going to be told no, they can wait until they move out of home.... ooo hang on I just did a google, and I dont mind turtles.... so turtles are my fav reptile.... yes I had to check there were in fact reptiles.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Ask me a question...

So I kind of got this idea from another blog, was just scanning and found a blog where she was answering questions, not sure when/where she was asked but it gave me a blog idea.... seeing as I have so many loyal followers, i encourage you all to ask me a question and I will answer it...

You can be random, or funny (or try to be) or serious or a little bit naughty... and I will endeavour to answer then all...

so come on, ask away...

Brother Anxiety...

Stella has been somewhat challenging of late. If I am not within arms reach or clear sight, she has a complete and utter meltdown... and well, its not a mummy thing, if daddy is about she is OK or any other adult to be honest.

Its exhausting, having to constantly be near her, reassuring her from the next room is not enough and its heartbreaking hearing her sobbing as she crawls trying to find me, while I'm trying to just do something (get dressed, washing, wee). Nothing is getting done around the house (Adam would argue that it never really does) but while I have worked out cooking with a child on my hip and I can kind of load the dishwasher and put on a load of washing, hanging it out is impossible... and don't get me started on folding it or putting it away. Sweeping the floor with child on hip is doable, but not easy.

I was putting it down to separation anxiety, which is new to me. Xave was such a chillaxed little dude that he never really got upset if we left the room, he would just happily play on his own until we returned. Just one more difference between my kids.

But yesterday, I came to a new realisation... Stella is not suffering separation anxiety at all... she is suffering brother anxiety!!! Meaning, she is anxious when she is left alone with her brother.

I came to this realisation yesterday when Miss woke a good half hour before he did. And she was a different child. She played happily alone in the family room while I was packing nappy orders in the lounge, she even got out of her chair and took 2 unaided steps across to her music table (YAH!) I was able to wander around the house without a sobbing mess following me, she was smiley and happy and beautiful.

But that all changed once Xave woke up... as soon as she heard him, she cried as soon as I was out of her sight. She followed me around sobbing...rightly so, seeing as Xavier was also grabbing, pulling and pushing her more than necessary.

I am at my wits end with the both of them. This past month, putting them both in full time care and returning to paid work, really does seem to be the easy option. Of course, in my heart, I know that being away from them so much would just break my heart and really isn't what I want to do at all.. but some days... geez... its tempting.

She has started assertive herself more when he takes things from her, mainly with screams and calls of 'mumma' for help, but if she had it first, she holds on tight and doesn't back down easily. He does really love her, he tries to give her cuddles which end in headlocks and her screaming, he shares his food with her and always asks me for one for Stella too (although he does always give her the little one) but I have noticed of late, she has stopped looking at him with the complete adoration she did when she was younger (you know because she is soooo old and all) instead she looks at him with reservation, just a look of not being sure what he is going to do to her at any given moment, and it breaks my heart.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

baaaa I'm a sheep...

...yes I did it, I got me an Iphone.. and well, I was pretty excited about the whole deal, but well, now that its here, I'm a bit meh about it.

Sure it pretty, and smooth and shiny, but well... Im not yet in love with it.

Granted I need to update my calendar and my contacts but well... those of you who have one, let me in on some tips to make me love the thing that I am no committed to for 2 years.

I have downloaded the facebook app (naturally) but thats it.. what else should I be downloading on it? Free downloads that is, far to tight to buy them?

Also should probably put some music on it, ringtone choices are not awesome....

hmm ideas people please..

Monday, February 15, 2010

Build it up, build it up, build it high...

... well perhaps not high as such, but building works will be starting here sooner than later.

Today we got word that our second set of garage plans have been approved. The first lot were knocked back as we wanted to build too close to the road, so we took off our proposed office, and met the councils requirement of a 6m setback and voila, approval.

The next step I'm told is that the draftsman will submit our plans to the building surveyor and then we have to get the owner builder paperwork on the go then construction begins....

I cant wait, it will be so awesome to finally have a garage, to be able to get the kids in the car no worries, rain, hail or shine. It will be nice to let the kids out the door and not have to panic about them running onto the road (well not quite in Stella's case yet, but you know what I mean). I am hoping that by the winter rain we have at the very least a roof on... that's my own little personal goal.

There will also be some interesting things happening during the building process. What is currently our front door will become our direct garage access and what is currently our front window will become our front door. I am already in a bit of a panic about how this exactly works, surely they cant leave me door less? Can they? I guess the builders will have it all sorted out just fine, after all, that's what they do.

Most of our front garden will be pulled up, and despite Adam complaining about this, I think he is secretly going to enjoy having a pretty much blank canvas to work with. He has always talked about ripping out the entire garden and starting again, and well here's his chance.

It will be a pain having to park on the road for a while, well I'm guessing I will have to park on the road, but it will all be worth it once we have our garage finished.

so stay tuned peeps, for building updates...

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Ladyby, Ladybug, fly away home...

Yesterday was Stella's first birthday party, and it was ladybug themed...

the food was ladybug (or ladybug colours)




the cake had ladybugs


and some of us dressed as ladybugs...




We had a jumping castle and the kids cubby house, sandpit and trampoline all set up for the kids to play in, all of which got a good workout and seemed to be enjoyed.

Stella was spoilt rotten with presents, her winter wardrobe is now well stocked and she has some lovely new toys and books to play with.

I cant forget, we also shared a birthday boobie...


As much as I enjoyed the day, I'm glad its over and done with... party planning is so exhausting but seeing everyone having such a good time it makes it all worth it.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Happy 1st Birthday Stella

To my daughter...

What a challenge and blessing you have been these past 12 months.

I look at you and all I see is me. A tiny little version of myself. You have my features and you have my attitude. My mum always said that she hoped I would have a daughter just like me, and well, here you are.

In 12 short months you have pushed buttons I didn't know I had, you have made me laugh and cry and throw things and scream out loud. You amaze me with your humour and courage, and frustrate me with your drama queen antics.

You are beautiful. Daddy says, more beautiful than me, and while I act hurt at this, I know its true. Sometimes when you are feeding I look down at you in awe at just how perfect and lovely you are. It helps that with a mouthful of boob you are generally quiet too, a rare moment of peace.

I know that in the years to come you are going to push more buttons, we will yell and scream at each other, we will say things that are hurtful and things that are loving. But Im sure I will never stop being amazed by your character.

Today on your birthday, know that you are adored by all who cross your path, but in particular by your mummy, daddy and big brother.

May you have a wonderful day, not that you will remember it, but know that I thought long and hard about how to spend today, so just go with the flow and have a good time.

Love, kisses and much respect from your mum xxx

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Grandparents...

After talking about my nan briefly during Stella's birth story, I felt it might be nice to share a little more about these wonderful people I was blessed to have in my life growing up.

My Nan, is my dad's mum. Her name was Dorothy, but most people called her Dossie, and she was awesome. She is where I get my crafty side from. She was an amazing knitter and sewer, she made all of my clothes when I was small (before name brands become essential) and my barbies and cabbage patch dolls had extensive wardrobes thanks to her. She taught me to knit and sew as a child, neither of which I do well anymore. She also taught me to cross stitch, which I still do quite a bit of and am rather good and quick at. She lived with my pop across the road from my primary school and each day used to bring me and my closest friends treats at recess and lunch. In winter it would be hot milo or tomato soup with toast, in summer, home made icypoles or ice cream cones. She was fastidious about neat hair and straight parts, and every morning I would sit at her feet while she did my hair for school. Never a hair out of place, no bumps and pigtails were always exactly even.

She was a wonderful cook of meals. She did the best ox tail and veggie soup. Granted I don't eat veggies but the broth and ox tail from that soup was the best thing ever on a cold winters day. She did a full roast dinner every Sunday lunch and never have I found anyone who does roast potatoes as good as she did. She wasn't much of a dessert cook, but always had time to help make toffee, or chocolate crackles or honey comb with me as a child to indulge my whims.

She spoilt me rotten. I had my own room there and spent several nights a week at nan's house. If there was a new toy out, she would get it for me, she even fought with a lady at the toy shop over the last black my child doll, because I wanted a black one. Natarsha, as she was named, still holds pride of place on my dresser now, dressed fully in a hand knitted navy and red outfit, complete with knickers and all... I was so spoilt that my nan paid for my first car. From the day I was born she had been saving her 1 & 2 cent pieces and putting them into an account for me, when they stopped making them she started putting her 5 cent pieces in instead. By the time I turned 18, there was almost $1500 in the account to buy my first car, a 1982 Holden Gemini.

I'm not sure if she was just slightly morbid, or if she truly believed it, but she asked me to wear the necklace she wore on her wedding day when I did my deb ball in 1995 as she felt she wouldn't be here to see me married and she figured my deb dress was close enough to a wedding dress. So I did. I didn't particularly like the necklace as a 16 year old, but I could see how much it meant to her, so I wore it. Needless to say I also wore the necklace on my wedding day in 2004 with my nan there to celebrate with me. It has been left to me to care for, it was given to my nan by her own mother-in-law as her something old on her wedding day, so it has been in our family for over 100 years now. Several of my aunts and cousins have also been married in the necklace, and in time I hope to collate a photo history of the necklace to travel with it on its journey through our family. Which I really should do before any more of my great aunts pass on.

My last memory of her is at home, she got very sick very fast and passed quickly. It was what she always wanted, her sisters got dementia and suffered before passing, and she didn't want that to happen to her. She had asked to see me, I burst into tears as soon as I got there, she held me and told me to not be silly, she wasn't going anywhere, she was going to hold that baby of mine before she gave up the fight. If only her prediction was right.

My Pop, my dad's dad, is a big loud bellowing man. His name is Ronald, but everyone called him Tom (his middle name) He was a farrier and knew a whole lot about horses and seemingly cows and other animals too. It is from my pop that I get my love of all things fruity as well as my storytelling skills. My nan and pop had huge fruit trees in their backyard at home. As a child I climbed these trees and overindulged on blood plums, apples, apricots and locuts... there was also a huge fyjoa tree, but I don't like those. Pop would bring me home cherries and strawberries and mango's from the markets and we would sit like royalty stuffing our faces with out sweet delights.

During these times curled up on his lap eating fruit, he would tell me story after story. He had stories about all kinds of things, and as a child I loved them all. But the one that sticks with me all these years later, is the one about the hobyahs. The story is about a little old woman and a little old man who live in the forest with their dog (his name changed regularly). Each night the hobyahs (who were like horrible little goblin creatures who wanted to eat them) would come up to the house and the dog would bark and bark and the little old man would get cross and yell at the dog, each night cutting off part of the dog to teach him a lesson (yep charming story for a young child) so first was his tail, then an hear, leg, nose, etc until there was no dog left anymore. The next night, the hobyahs came again, this time because there was no dog to scare them off, they kidnapped the little old woman and took her back to their camp. When the little old man woke up he was shocked to find his wife gone, so he put the dog back together again (umm yeah ok...) and off they went to find the little old woman. They did, the hobyahs were going to cook and eat her, but the dog barked and scared them all off and the little old man rescued her and they lived happily ever after.... naturally you need to have the lap of a loving poppy and the voices and snarls for this story to really work, but it was this time with him that began my passion for storytelling and hearing stories.

He also taught me a healthy respect for animals. I was not allowed to be afraid of horses, but was never to trust them. His joking began my complete and utter fear of cows. One day out at 'the block' where our horses were kept, a cow had birthed a new calf. He was going out to make sure it was all OK as the calf hadn't gotten up to walk as yet and he asked if I wanted to come with him. Sure! Half way across the paddock he joked I had better be careful the bull didn't charge me seeing as I was wearing red! That was it, I bolted right out of that paddock and will not go near cows now, EVER. The worst bit is that there wasn't even a bull in the paddock, not to mention that they charge movement not red. It was also during my time out 'the block' that my love of molasses was started. For those who don't know, molasses is a thick black sticky sweet substance, its a stage in sugar making, much richer than treacle..but delicious all the same and according to my pop its the perfect thing for horse cough. It was given to the horses at the first sign of a cough, not to mention given to me too at a sore throat (many of which were claimed for a spoonful of molasses) Out 'the block' most nights after school, I would wander off and stick my finger in the giants tubs of molasses we had there. A favourite horse used to be rewarded with apples slices dipped in molasses.

My pop recently, on Australia Day, celebrated his 90th birthday. He was determined to make it to that day but kept telling us all that he wouldn't last much longer. Time will tell on this one I guess.

My mum's mum was always known as Possy Poo Nan. WHY? Well because she called me possum poo poo and well, I had 2 nans so had to be able to tell the difference, and possy poo poo nan just stuck. Her real name was Olive. She was a little woman with a sharp wit and potty mouth. I adored her. She taught me dirty rhymes and we would laugh and cackle as mum would tell her off for teaching me such things. Granted it wasn't quite so funny when I would get into trouble at school (catholic school I might add) for singing "we 3 kings from orentair, selling ladies underwear, one on a scooter, pulling his hooter, following yonder star". She said shit and fart and bugger and I thought she was tough. She loved cuddles and would squeeze you so very tight that for a second you would quite literally stop breathing.

Possy poo nan used to come and stay with us every Wed and Thur night during my childhood. She wasn't much of a meal cook, but boy could that woman bake desserts. She made the most amazing apple pies and choc mud cakes. People would kill for her lemon meringue pie and her scones were to die for. Each week of a Wednesday we would race home from school to see what sweet treat was waiting for us from her. During my, well, I guess eating disorder time, she would bring something for the family, then a second dessert just for me. I would sit and hide and stuff my face, then purge and punish myself for a week for being so weak.

The older she got, the more she seemed to shrink. I guess that fact that I was also growing didn't help that perception either, but really she was shrinking. She still sent $10 in a card for my birthday every year until she died, actually, come to think of it, my birthday this year will be my first without a card from her. She lived independently almost until she died from cancer in July last year. While it was sad, her passing came as a relief after months of illness. One of my last memories of her was just after Stella was born, I had gone to visit her with the new baby. We chatted about mundane things for a while and then she asked, "are you feeding her?" to which I replied, "oh no, I let her starve, don't want her to get fat like the rest of us." she laughed, told me not to be a smart arse and clarified, "I mean, are you feeding her or is she on the bottle?" I told her that I was in fact feeding her, to which my nan replied, "Its a lovely thing isn't it?" After how hard I had fought to feed Stella, it meant so much to have her acknowledge the awesomeness of what I was doing. We then had a brief chat about her breastfeeding history, it was a nice final memory.

So if I haven't bored you to tears and you have read this far, thank you. I know how blessed I am to have had 3 wonderful grandparents growing up. My mum's dad died when she was only 14 so I never got to know him at all. I also am so happy that my children have 6 loving grandparents to guide them through their childhood. My parents are divorced and both remarried, but the step grandies love the kids just as much as the others do. Unfortunately, my kids grandies, were able to agree on different names so that there is no risk of anyone becoming poo poo anything... lol