Breastfeeding Stella...

Like with her birth story, you really need to read Xavier's breast feeding story to understand where Stella's story comes from..

After the initial shock of being pregnant again so soon after Xave, I began to think about the breast feeding relationship I wanted this time around. And the basis of that was, that I wanted one. I wanted pictures and success and months and months of milky goodness.

So operation Breastfeed began.

First step was to make use of my ABA subscription. I decided that I was going to attend some meetings before my baby arrived, well I made it to 1 meeting when I was 14 weeks pregnant, I still remember Helen and Kathy from that meeting (mainly because we were all as pregnant as each other) and I also remember Meredith with a very little baby (who is now a little boy). However, after that meeting, Xave and I seemed to just share this cycle of sickness... he got sick, I got sick, he got sick.. and I really didn't want to share our germs with others.

As part of my ABA subscription, Adam and I also attended a Breastfeeding Education Class. I had done that much research myself that I didn't really learn anything there, but boy oh boy do I wish that I had gone to that class before I had Xavier... my story could have been a very different one if I had...but then, maybe I needed Xavier's experience to bring me to the place and person I am today.

Stage 2 was to meet and debrief with the hospital Lactation Consultant about what happened last time and how we could fix it this time around. It was great, it really put my mind at ease to know that there were notes in my file about how important it was to me to breast feed and that the LC's were planning to come and visit me soon after delivery.

I also truly believed that the formula top ups that Xavier had were the beginning of the end of our breast feeding relationship. Avoiding giving Stella formula was of great importance to me. I noticed around 25 weeks pregnant that if I squeezed, I could get a small amount of colostrum out of my breasts.(do not ask how or why one decided to squeeze ones boobs during pregnancy) On mentioning this to a breastfeeding friend, she told me that I could collect this up and freeze it, offering it to Stella if she lost too much weight and was needing top ups after birth. I did some more reading about this, and decided that I would express daily (after 35 weeks pregnant) and freeze my collection. I ended up with about 30ml all up in the freezer, most days would yield between 0.5-1ml of liquid gold, which seems like dismal amounts, but knowing that a newborns stomach only holds 3-5ml, it was enough.

I knew that the road to successful breastfeeding was not going to be easy, and I knew that I would need the support of those close to me most. I wrote letters to those whose support I valued asking for their help and giving them ideas about what I would find helpful and what I would not find helpful. I'm unsure if this was appreciated or not, but it was something I needed to ask for me.

I asked my friend Sam to be the delivering midwife for Stella's Cesarean birth. She and I had many discussion about how important breastfeeding was to me, and she assured me she would do all she could to assist us succeed. It was Sam who told the recovery nurse checking my blood pressure could wait until Stella was on the breast... it was Sam who captured this photo of Stella's first ever breastfeed...

I will forever appreciate her help in these first hours of my daughters life.

We experienced some attachment issues with grazed nipples. But a visit from the LC soon fixed that up for me. We experienced greater than 10% weight loss and jaundice. There was mention of top ups, I agreed once again, but rather than formula, this time I had my freezer stash of colostrum ready and waiting. I also had my sister, who was feeding at the time, express almost 100ml of her breast milk for me to give to Stella over formula if needed. It made me laugh when the midwife exclaimed, "oh, you're that woman." I asked her to clarify and she said she had heard there was someone on the ward who had frozen colostrum..she also added that she thought it was wonderful and she wished more people were as in the know as I seemed to be.

I allowed Stella unlimited access to the breast, and she took full advantage of that. She also took all of the colostrum I had frozen, she regained enough weight and was allowed to come home.

Initially my goal was to breastfeed her for longer than I fed Xavier. The early days were certainly not all roses and breast milk. My supply was low again, but a wonderful LC got me onto medication when Stella was 6 days old to boost my supply. It worked. We reached 2 weeks with relative ease.

The next goal was 6 weeks. I kept hearing that if you can make it to 6 weeks it gets easier from there. We got to 6 weeks, still trying to work out supply, with slow weight gains, but gains nonetheless. As a reward I bought my boobies a sexy feeding bra. Yes, they do exist.

The next goal was 6 months. We got there and celebrated with another sexy bra. But it was tough. Supply was low, weight gains were lower and it took all the support my ABA group could muster to support me through these months. But we got there. I had always suspected that I would be weaning her around 6 months. But as that time approached, she still seemed like such a baby. So I decided I would wean her when she got teeth.

A month later, she cut her first tooth. A bottom one. No stress, I knew that when they were feeding properly their tongues should be out over their bottom lip, therefore a feeding baby could not bite. Then the top teeth arrived, they could, and did bite once or twice. But we kept on keeping on.

We overcame the sticky beaks of 7 months, the pinching of 8 months and the seeming complete lack of interest in breastfeeding of 9 months. That was of course until she got severe gastro at 9 months and lost 800g in 6 days. She kept nothing down, not even breast milk. She was hospitalised twice and re hydrated via nasal tube during these times. After that she came back to her boobies with a vengeance.

We have fed in playgrounds, in bed, at the sink at the hairdressers while having a colour washed out, we have been smiled at and frowned at alike as we fed in cafes and restaurants, we have had some wonderful chats with random strangers, from a 4 year old who was sure my milk must have been delicious seeing as Stella fed from both sides, to the lovely old lady who reminisced with me about how much she enjoyed feeding her own children.

The final goal was to be 12 months, but as that date approaches all too fast, once again the finishing line moves. The new line, well who really knows. I now am saying 2. But she may choose to end our breastfeeding relationship before then, or 2 may come and go as quickly as 1 has and we may find ourselves still sharing our special time while we share boobies.

Whenever the end may come, I am bloody proud of how far I have come. Yes I was pigheaded, yes it was hard, but I wouldn't change a second of it for love nor money. I still take medication to keep my supply up and will do until we finish feeding, but its a small price to pay to allow me to do something that brings my daughter and I so much joy.

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